I’ve been participating in the “Courageous” bible study and
man, oh man, does this study make me realize what great parents I had growing
up (and still have!)… And sometimes, I say something and I look around for
McMom because SURELY she said that and not me… it was even her voice coming out
of my mouth!
SO here are the 10 things that my parents taught me… (and
these aren’t all of them… just some.)
1. McDad has always been
smarter than he pretends. I think it’s a male thing to have that lack of
self confidence in his mental capacity. He’s always been smart and I’ve always
seen him as smart, but it isn’t until as I’ve grown up that I remember how he
used to really not believe that. This is the man who can single handedly fix
anything around the house, sharpen lawn mower blades (which I’d never know how
to even start)…. Just little things that as I grew up… he always fixed things,
but he never admitted how BOOK SMART he is. In fact, it was a “number one rule”
to not ask Dad how to spell anything. (We had multiple Number One rules, that
is a post for another day.)
2. You will love your
sisters one day. McMom was notorious for saying, “they are the only sisters
you have any you WILL love them and you WILL like it.” In fact, during those
long summers when my sisters and I never got along, Mom often said, “You are
going to love something, so get outside and hug a tree!” Yes. You read that
right. If my sisters and I were arguing, we were told to go outside and hug a
tree. Here’s the thing… the only trees available were pine trees. And we all
had long hair… so we’d hug a tree covered in sap and our hair would wrap around
the tree and get stuck in that sap… But that wasn’t even the worse part. Our
friends would ride up and down the street on their bikes and laugh, cause they
knew we had been fighting again.
3. Tea goes in pitchers,
koolaid goes in old pickle jars. My parents worked so hard when we were
young to not let us know how poor we were. We never went without and we never
starved, but we ate A LOT of rice and beans. We didn’t get soft drinks… ever.
During the summer, when we were home all day, McMom used to make Kool Aid in an
old gallon size glass pickle jar. Heaven forbid you got caught drinking out of
the jar! Sometimes she would put plastic
wrap over the opening and put a rubber band over it, that was fresh kool aid! But
I will never forget the red or purple kool aid in an old pickle jar.
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Left: Justin Wilson
Right: John Edd Thompson |
4. Justin Wilson and
Cayenne Pepper. Often times on Saturdays in the Fall or Spring, my Mom would
open all the windows in the house and let the cool air come through. I remember
Saturdays, coming home after a full day of playing outside, and walking into
the house and turning on Public Television at 5:30… Justin Wilson was on. (For
some of you, Justin Wilson was a cook who cooked Cajun food on TV before Food
Network ever existed.) He always cooked with White Wine and Cayenne pepper. An
old white man, with white hair and white mustache… and I loved him. Maybe he’s
why a man cooking is such a cool thing for me. (Or maybe it’s the white hair,
because I also loved John Ed Thompson, the weatherman!)
5. Men who take time
with their children are just downright sexy. I have picture after picture
of my Dad playing with my sisters and I. Sometimes he had on his fatigues and
it was obvious that he had just come from Drill with the Alabama National
Guard. Sometimes he had on jeans and it was obvious he had been working in the
yard. Either way… we played Ring around the Rosy, McDonalds… but his favorite
was “Hair Salon”. He’d lay back in his recliner and we’d sit behind him in a
chair and “do” his hair. (Now looking back, I realize he just liked his hair
played with and would often times go to sleep…) But he’d wake up with mini
braids, or pokey pony tails, and sometimes wet hair or hair with hairspray. Now
as a Mom, I LOVE to watch HimSelph play with our kids… it is hands down my
favorite scene.
6. Yard work is cheaper
than Therapy. You know those days where you are just in a funk and its not
something you can shake off? McMom and I both have those several times a year.
And we have found the ONLY way to get it to go away… is sunshine and sweat. SO
that means, whether the yard needs it or not, the yard gets cut. Those flower
beds need to be replanted. That dirt needs to be moved. And it needs to be done
NOW, by me. The sweat and the sun and the dirt under the nails… means you will
sleep tonight. It means you can think a problem through. It means you can work
out that stress and do something productive. Unfortunately for the men in our
lives, it means they have to do yard work, too. That is their job, to work
beside you and just let you work/think. Cheaper than a therapist, and the yard
looks great, too.
7. Sunday = Church. End
of Story. I never asked my Mom on Saturdays, “So what are we doing
tomorrow?” Or “Are we going to Church tomorrow?” The answer was ALWAYS yes. We
were going. And no, we weren’t allowed to sleep or color or doodle through
church. The pastor has something important to say, and we were going to listen.
Smart McMom: she knew that us hearing impaired kids couldn’t hear if we weren’t
watching, so always, “eyes on the speaker”. And while I resented that as a
child, man…. Some of the best memories are listening to Dr. Cox preach in that
red church. He’s a man I respect to this day…
8. A good employee is a
good person. My parents’ work ethic was unstoppable. There was no “calling
in sick” just because, (well, we played “Hooky” once and the cop who pulled us
over wasn’t too happy about that, but again… a post for another day.) Anyway… I
have parents who have logged over 25 years in the same profession. 25 years!
Now, they could walk away any day and say, “Good Run, but I’m done.” Nope. They
are both still there. Retirement gets closer and closer with each bureaucratic decision,
but they have hung in there and I can’t wait to see what they want to do next.
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HimSelph with Our Youngest
(Photo caption for #5 & 9) |
9. Fishing is fun until
the snacks run out. McMom can outfish a professional fisherman. Hands down,
any day. I have watched the woman fish by headlights because the fish were
still biting and she wasn’t ready to quit. I have ALSO seen that woman get the
fishing line hung in a tree with the hook dangling about a foot over the water,
with no bait… and a fish JUMPED out of the water and baited itself on her hook.
NO LIE. But me? I only fished until the snacks were gone. Then I was done. So
like, an hour.
10. Sisters come first. This
one was the most important and I have McMom to thank for it. She was determined
to make us love each other. (See #2) And now looking back, I don’t think it was
so much “sisters” coming first as it was nurturing a loyalty to your family
that you don’t often see anymore. I have a brother now… he receives no less
loyalty than they did. I have a husband who comes first now, and its because of
that foundation that I can remain completely and unquestionably loyal to him
and our family. We have a saying in my family, “Circle the wagons.” When
something hard or especially stressful happens, we stop all outside activities,
we turn inward and work together to solve a problem, to be there for someone,
to put ourselves last and focus on an issue for someone else. We have been
through divorce, we have been through an emergency surgery (and premature
babies), we have been through times where
we just had to stop serving the world and serve each other. That was our
ministry to each other, and I’m thankful for it.
