10 Things my Parents Taught Me

I’ve been participating in the “Courageous” bible study and man, oh man, does this study make me realize what great parents I had growing up (and still have!)… And sometimes, I say something and I look around for McMom because SURELY she said that and not me… it was even her voice coming out of my mouth!

SO here are the 10 things that my parents taught me… (and these aren’t all of them… just some.)

1. McDad has always been smarter than he pretends. I think it’s a male thing to have that lack of self confidence in his mental capacity. He’s always been smart and I’ve always seen him as smart, but it isn’t until as I’ve grown up that I remember how he used to really not believe that. This is the man who can single handedly fix anything around the house, sharpen lawn mower blades (which I’d never know how to even start)…. Just little things that as I grew up… he always fixed things, but he never admitted how BOOK SMART he is. In fact, it was a “number one rule” to not ask Dad how to spell anything. (We had multiple Number One rules, that is a post for another day.)

                                                        

2. You will love your sisters one day. McMom was notorious for saying, “they are the only sisters you have any you WILL love them and you WILL like it.” In fact, during those long summers when my sisters and I never got along, Mom often said, “You are going to love something, so get outside and hug a tree!” Yes. You read that right. If my sisters and I were arguing, we were told to go outside and hug a tree. Here’s the thing… the only trees available were pine trees. And we all had long hair… so we’d hug a tree covered in sap and our hair would wrap around the tree and get stuck in that sap… But that wasn’t even the worse part. Our friends would ride up and down the street on their bikes and laugh, cause they knew we had been fighting again.

3. Tea goes in pitchers, koolaid goes in old pickle jars. My parents worked so hard when we were young to not let us know how poor we were. We never went without and we never starved, but we ate A LOT of rice and beans. We didn’t get soft drinks… ever. During the summer, when we were home all day, McMom used to make Kool Aid in an old gallon size glass pickle jar. Heaven forbid you got caught drinking out of the jar!  Sometimes she would put plastic wrap over the opening and put a rubber band over it, that was fresh kool aid! But I will never forget the red or purple kool aid in an old pickle jar.

Left: Justin Wilson
Right: John Edd Thompson

4. Justin Wilson and Cayenne Pepper. Often times on Saturdays in the Fall or Spring, my Mom would open all the windows in the house and let the cool air come through. I remember Saturdays, coming home after a full day of playing outside, and walking into the house and turning on Public Television at 5:30… Justin Wilson was on. (For some of you, Justin Wilson was a cook who cooked Cajun food on TV before Food Network ever existed.) He always cooked with White Wine and Cayenne pepper. An old white man, with white hair and white mustache… and I loved him. Maybe he’s why a man cooking is such a cool thing for me. (Or maybe it’s the white hair, because I also loved John Ed Thompson, the weatherman!)

5. Men who take time with their children are just downright sexy. I have picture after picture of my Dad playing with my sisters and I. Sometimes he had on his fatigues and it was obvious that he had just come from Drill with the Alabama National Guard. Sometimes he had on jeans and it was obvious he had been working in the yard. Either way… we played Ring around the Rosy, McDonalds… but his favorite was “Hair Salon”. He’d lay back in his recliner and we’d sit behind him in a chair and “do” his hair. (Now looking back, I realize he just liked his hair played with and would often times go to sleep…) But he’d wake up with mini braids, or pokey pony tails, and sometimes wet hair or hair with hairspray. Now as a Mom, I LOVE to watch HimSelph play with our kids… it is hands down my favorite scene.

6. Yard work is cheaper than Therapy. You know those days where you are just in a funk and its not something you can shake off? McMom and I both have those several times a year. And we have found the ONLY way to get it to go away… is sunshine and sweat. SO that means, whether the yard needs it or not, the yard gets cut. Those flower beds need to be replanted. That dirt needs to be moved. And it needs to be done NOW, by me. The sweat and the sun and the dirt under the nails… means you will sleep tonight. It means you can think a problem through. It means you can work out that stress and do something productive. Unfortunately for the men in our lives, it means they have to do yard work, too. That is their job, to work beside you and just let you work/think. Cheaper than a therapist, and the yard looks great, too.

7. Sunday = Church. End of Story. I never asked my Mom on Saturdays, “So what are we doing tomorrow?” Or “Are we going to Church tomorrow?” The answer was ALWAYS yes. We were going. And no, we weren’t allowed to sleep or color or doodle through church. The pastor has something important to say, and we were going to listen. Smart McMom: she knew that us hearing impaired kids couldn’t hear if we weren’t watching, so always, “eyes on the speaker”. And while I resented that as a child, man…. Some of the best memories are listening to Dr. Cox preach in that red church. He’s a man I respect to this day…

8. A good employee is a good person. My parents’ work ethic was unstoppable. There was no “calling in sick” just because, (well, we played “Hooky” once and the cop who pulled us over wasn’t too happy about that, but again… a post for another day.) Anyway… I have parents who have logged over 25 years in the same profession. 25 years! Now, they could walk away any day and say, “Good Run, but I’m done.” Nope. They are both still there. Retirement gets closer and closer with each bureaucratic decision, but they have hung in there and I can’t wait to see what they want to do next.

HimSelph with Our Youngest
(Photo caption for #5 & 9)

9. Fishing is fun until the snacks run out. McMom can outfish a professional fisherman. Hands down, any day. I have watched the woman fish by headlights because the fish were still biting and she wasn’t ready to quit. I have ALSO seen that woman get the fishing line hung in a tree with the hook dangling about a foot over the water, with no bait… and a fish JUMPED out of the water and baited itself on her hook. NO LIE. But me? I only fished until the snacks were gone. Then I was done. So like, an hour.

10. Sisters come first. This one was the most important and I have McMom to thank for it. She was determined to make us love each other. (See #2) And now looking back, I don’t think it was so much “sisters” coming first as it was nurturing a loyalty to your family that you don’t often see anymore. I have a brother now… he receives no less loyalty than they did. I have a husband who comes first now, and its because of that foundation that I can remain completely and unquestionably loyal to him and our family. We have a saying in my family, “Circle the wagons.” When something hard or especially stressful happens, we stop all outside activities, we turn inward and work together to solve a problem, to be there for someone, to put ourselves last and focus on an issue for someone else. We have been through divorce, we have been through an emergency surgery (and premature babies), we have been through times where we just had to stop serving the world and serve each other. That was our ministry to each other, and I’m thankful for it.